I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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