This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize