I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
