He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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