I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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