he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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