well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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