What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
