with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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