so explain again why im purple
no
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
