my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
