I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
