I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
