There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
