Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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