I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
bring money and cleavage
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize