morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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