so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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