I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize