Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
