i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
