I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow