Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳