From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table