Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
