Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.