We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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