Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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