she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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