My friends, they love my intelligence
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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