Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
