Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
