I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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