I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
