oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
