she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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