Quick, to the slutcave!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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