I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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