Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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