i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
