The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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