Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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