she was so not down for the gang bang
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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