just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
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I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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