I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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