Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
