I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
