just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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