Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Nicole vs. Life
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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