I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
