I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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