You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
