it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
