Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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