Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
