The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
