Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
