I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
