and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
