just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize