im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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