And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
