His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
