Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
