I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
