YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize